Entry One... Page one... Day one....


Today marks a special day...

Somewhere in the world...

There are a lot of special days and holidays on this planet, and I'm pretty sure somewhere today is probably something like Mongoose Day or Ivan Tulitov's Birthday.
I have no idea who Ivan Tulitov is, or if he is in fact real or if I just made him up... but my point is today is probably a special day, somewhere.
Who knows.
I thought you might want to ponder that.
I figure you must be really bored to be reading this, so pondering stuff might not be such a waste of time.
Anyway...
This is my first Blog... Ever.
Although I've written hundreds of pages of useless comments on dozens of internet sites, I've never Blogged once...
Initially I thought a blog was some sort of Eastern European turnip stew...
Then I thought it was a lewd act...
Eventually I found out it has something to do with being a open journal of one's thoughts and experiences and advice...
That is what it is, right?
Because that's more or less where this is going, so if that's okay with you, hop in...
Think of this blog as a big long downhill magical shopping cart (grocery trolley) ride... Nobody knows where it's headed, nobody knows when it will stop... It's definitely not good for your health... But maybe before it plunges off a cliff or crashes into a cement truck (premixed stone product lorry) it might be some fun.
That, and you may pee in your pants at least once.
Unless you are wearing someone else's pants.
I suggest that if you do pee in a pair of borrowed pants, at least let them dry throughly before returning them to their owner.
Its the polite thing to do.
Anyway...
I believe that blogs are also supposed to have a purpose too... Or porpoise...
Probably purpose, because I don't see anywhere to insert aquatic mammals, so I suppose I should state this Blogs's purpose too...
None.
That was quick.
I was going to say something profound... I even started to write it down in pencil, on a little scrap of paper I found on the desk here, but because I'm still a little sweaty from chainsawing a huge tree limb, it kept sticking to my palm when I was writing... So I turned on a fan and it blew away...
The scrap of paper... Not the tree limb...
I felt then that the purpose of this blog was as fleeting as that scrap of sweaty paper carried aloft by the gentle breeze of the fan.
Actually the fan is huge and old... I think it is from the 1950s, but it really looks like it used to be attached to a decommissioned B-17 bomber and then someone stuck it on a short post and called it a fan...
I'm really suprised the desk doesn't fly off.
Anyway... I'm not looking for that peice of paper, so there goes this blog's purpose.

I will however state that one purpose this blog will not embrace is proper grammar and or sentence structure.
Forget spelling and proof-reading.
Some people say that is lazy writing, I say that is lazy reading... If you can't take the time to try and figure out what I'm getting at, then shame on you.
Get that two you if they then know chicken pants in the morning roof?
I thought so.

The truth is I don't really know what this blog will be about... Maybe it will be funny, maybe it will be serious at times... Maybe I'll write it in Portuguese and leave it to you to translate.

Well, I'll leave it to you to determine if this is something you want to read or not... for now, I have to go shower, because I'm covered in sawdust and big angry ants...

Later...